November 7, 2014

The recent sitting in Portland began with this interesting and unusual perspective on fear:

“Fear is often a way of convincing yourself not to do something so purposeful, so blessed, that it could change everything about you.  Fear is so often this kind of thought-form, this kind of mental noise precipitated as sensation in a body unprotected from such assault. When emotion is alive and real and coursing through your flesh, it is purposeful indeed, it is life-giving and part of life.  But fear so often is not like this at all; it is only masquerading as real emotion.  It is, rather, a heightened kind of thinking, a special kind of thought-form filled with misinformation so deceptive it even makes you believe you are actually feeling something.”

But the mere appearance of a frightening image or thought is not enough: “You have to participate in the mental process through your own agency for fear to be sparked.”  What if you refuse to let the thought-forms frighten you?

“The first thing that will happen is that the fearful thinking will become increasingly urgent, it will become increasingly intense, it will heighten in both complexity and tenor; the longer you refuse to buy in, the more the mind will assault you with all the horror waiting for you.  It will heighten like this because what the mind needs, first and foremost, is your allegiance.  It is not so much that it needs you to be scared, it just needs you to be its—to be allied with thinking, to belong to the realm of fantasy and imagination.  It needs you because your agency is its fuel and it knows that, eventually, without your support, without your belief in its forms and its dictates, it will wither, it will subside, it will dissolve back into the ocean of intelligence from which it emerged.”

This happy conclusion is so hard to get to, but also so worth it:

“We have journeyed very far, and through all of it there has been the companionship and the perceived insight of our own minds, and it is difficult indeed, after all this time, to recognize, ‘I have been duped.  Those thought-forms were never real, those fears were never mine, they did not live and breathe like real things do.  That mindscape that I have held to for dear life was never life at all, it was always fiction, always memory or fantasy, never mine.’  It is hard to see this and to say it, and then to try, after such a long time, to open your eyes to what is really real, what is truly here, and to try to know something deeper, fuller, richer than anything the mind has ever fed us.  It is difficult to see with any clarity and it is disorienting, profoundly, to use these new eyes.  But we are made for this, and it is the purpose of all of our journeying to begin, at last, to see what is real through the darkness of what our mind has given us, through the obfuscation and the confusion, through the whole well of innocent ignorance that we have so far lived in.  We are not supposed to be good at this, but we are supposed to try.”


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