Bright

August 5, 2017

“Hidden away in the necessary selfishness of your soul is a need to be bright again, a need to be joyful, a need to know again what it is that you are made of. Hidden away like a secret is the knowledge that this brightness is already within you, the certainty that all will be well again. And though you are, for good reason and by every instinct, selfish in your ways and in your pursuits, it is not what you want for yourself, it is not what you long for, it is not who you ache to become. What you ache for is a thing so unlike the form you have become used to, so holy in its aspiration and so bright in its perfect being that it barely resembles this earth, though only things of this earth become that. This that you ache for springs from the very material of things and yet ceases almost instantly to resemble them, and that perfect, perfect essence, that being that all being bends towards, is your essential hidden agenda, your intention for yourself. We are propelled in our thirst and in our longing by this kind of an ache. We are seeking both for this and from it, and it is what we already know of our own brightness that motivates the search for its completion. We are deeply involved in that which is both material and useless, that which is misguided even, and certainly that which it seems is self-serving and yet is not life-serving; but that does not mean that we cannot find this other longing, this way that we seek not to be released from the earthly plane but rather consumed by it, surrendered into it so much that the heaviness of our other agendas lifts and we are one again with the intention to be only our brightest. The human essence is a shining; deeply and fundamentally, inescapably, we are each of us and all of us together predicated upon this shining. We are rays, we are light, we are part of something and we are the whole of it; and this something is experienced as bright. And we turn towards this, or we try to, and though sometimes we are turning in the wrong direction, always it is the search, the intention to find that, that proves to us that none of this is in vain. It is the fact of our longing and the need in our search that proves to us that the brightness is real, because we seek what we, however dimly, remember; we seek a completion that, however uncertain, we know to be real. We come from this place of brightness. That is how we know we will return to it. We come from a place of hope for that return, and it is certain. Until your own longing is complete and your own surrender as deep as it must be, remember your brightness; seek it in your own experience, follow its ways and its hunches, let it send you in unknown directions. We are a fast and furious species and we need the return to that which is simple, essential, and bright within us. Under your selfishness, it is there. Under your confusion it waits for you. Under your despair, it is always still shining. And if it could hope, it would hope for you to come back to it. And if it could call to you, it would call you by name. You are the brightest thing there is. We are all that shining.”

Longing

May 13, 2017

“Take hold of your longing. Take hold of that which drives you toward beauty, compels you to live your life, tempts you with greater experience, more profound hope, and surer footing. Take hold of that longing like it is the reins of the thing that will carry you forward into what you most want, and in this way let your longing lead your life, let it steer the great vehicle of this precious, precious lifetime to the heights and to the depth that you wish to go. And let your longing speak to you like a siren song, let it convince you of all the impossible things that turn out to be possible after all. Let it sing to you so sweetly that you happily crash into all the obstacles that were never there and, so, drown in the miracle of what can be. Let your longing so fill you with faith that you become one of the starry-eyed brotherhood, believing in things that others find ridiculous and impossible. And let your longing be for you the destroyer of all your hardness, all your illusions, all your craving for things that cannot feed you and all your insistence that they can. Your longing is your guide, your temptress; your longing is your inspiration and that which cuts the cord. Your longing is your happiness. It is both path and destination. It is already shining the brightest of rays deep into the darkness of your mind, giving you the opportunity to see and to know, giving you a chance to clear that mind of all its difficulty, its doubt, its judgment, and its hatred. Your longing gives you the chance to take the violence of our circumstances and see right through it into the blessing of our being. Your longing does all that. It gives you hope, it gives you clarity, and it gives you knowledge. And we are not lost, ultimately, not a single one of us, because we have this longing, because it is inseparable from our essence, because it is unsquelchable, because it, itself, emerges from the only source of permanence that there is, and is, then, a bit of that permanence, that utter and perfect bliss, inside each and every one of us. Your longing can’t not be yours; because you are, you have it. But it is because you are lucky beyond measure that you also know you have it. Don’t waste this precious, beautiful knowing. Long, and so, live perfectly, beautifully, driven, serenaded back into the lap of God. That is what this perfect life is for—for longing, for living, for finding your way and finding that way to be perfect.”

Faith

July 21, 2015

I recorded this short teaching on faith over 12 years ago, but it still says so much to me.

“When there is light enough to fill even the doubts you do not yet concede, then your faith will be enough. It hesitates now, like a small bird learning how to fly. You are sure of nothing, but least of all are you sure that your own wings have the strength to lift you higher than you can stand. You look up at the sky like it’s a dream, like it’s hope, like it is some mother you can’t return to, but the sky is your proper home, and these wings the most essential part of your form. And the faith you need is like the wind that will put you back in that home. It is your deliverance into the arms of that mother; it is the way to be folded back into that breast. It is the only true mission of this body and this aching. You live in the longing for this, and it will feel like a burning until you are airborne. And only when you know that you are complete, and you will never land—only then will you know that your faith is enough.”